I have to tell people that they are not responsible for their behavior. They’re not creating it; they’re not initiating anything. It’s all found somewhere else.
-B. F. Skinner
Like my best friend Kristine will say, there is no vacuum in this world: she believes in the law of cause and effect and so do I. The fact that Paul is hot-tempered isn’t a coincidence, neither was Paul born hot-tempered, it might be caused by his family background. Having parents who always argue and shout at each other could go a long way to influence his temperament. The fact that Paula has trust issues could be a result of past experience, but again, it definitely isn’t a coincidence.
I don’t know the reason why Muslim’s kill rams more during their festive season and Christians kill fowls most during theirs (if you do please educate me) but it sure is no coincidence too because these behavioral patterns can be passed down from generation to generation until it takes expression in culture.
Ever wondered why Igbo people build large houses in the village even if it means managing a small rented apartment in Lagos? Correct me if I’m wrong but it started after we lost the Biafran war. We were all forced by our opponent to go back to our various home towns where a good number of us had to start from scratch, living in unbearable conditions and without shelter.
This happened generations ago but till today has shaped not just the course of our lives but the way we think. We subconsciously invest so much in our home in our village as a precautionary measure to avoid having to go through the ordeal we (our fore-fathers) suffered. I know it doesn’t make much sense but so does a lot of things we do knowingly and unknowingly.
Most human behaviour is learnt observationally through modelling from others.
-Albert Bandura
Values portrayed by society will in most cases have started from someone’s habit — just one person, and sadly, the most contagious habits are the negative ones. The good news is that there is a way out — choice.
You can choose not to allow the environment have negative imprints on your behavior and to stop letting your yesterday dictate what your tomorrow is going to be like. It should be used as a referential guide to avoiding making the same mistakes over again and nothing more.
The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.
-Willie Jolley
Life is from B to D — Birth to Death, the only thing between B and D is C — Choices; and trust me, that’s all you really can have total control over. So why not take full control of it? I certainly hope my six-year-old brother Sochukwu takes full control of his choice rather than let the vices of the society take expression in them and I hope you do too.
Don’t let a blast from the past be anything more than a guide to avoid making the same mistakes and don’t let social vices define your individual. By taking 100% control of the choices you make, you can avoid living as a shadow in daylight.
G.
About the author:
Greg Uzo is on a lifelong journey to inspire 1 billion people to positively impact the life of 1 person they know, and this is one of his mediums of documenting his progress.
PS. I’ll be honored to have you join me on this daring yet exciting journey by following me on Twitter.
